Big guy bikes

So I just read on Cycling News that my favorite donut loving compatriot is about to launch his own brand of bikes. Yep, Jan Ulrich is all set to battle the approximately 1 million Trek riders out there.

The highlights:
Carbon Fiber Construction
During the racing season (or at least most of it) the bike is extremely light and competitive
Guaranteed to carry you to at least second place
Off season, the bike gains 30 lbs and is reportedly great for hitting the clubs or cars
Comes with special "Ecstacy" pouch

I'm gettin' one fer sure!

Check it:
Photo ©: Susan Westemeyer/Cyclingnews

Donuts? Check. Carbon Fiber? Check.