What I just can't stop thinking about is how it never amazes me how so many things whether good, bad, or life changing can conspire to happen at once.
The flood of emotions, stimuli and pressure almost paralyze me and all I can do is stop and say, Damn!
Times like these really dial up the focus on myself, me, and who and what I am as a person. For some it's easier than others. I fall into the others.
My existence to date has been conflict and confrontation avoidance—almost to the point of the proverbial ostrich with it's head in the sand. Events of recent have forced me to take a deeper look at who I am and what I am made of—no easy task to begin at anytime, much less on your 35th year. I carry a lot of emotions, habits, baggage. Did I mention habits? Very hard to break. But, I am convincing myself I am a thinking animal. I do have a capacity to learn. In that learning, I look to improve and keep learning. It's always been my humble opinion, that those that say they know it all, those that speak more than listening, well, they're not me. You can never stop learning...
It's the application and timing of those learnings that I need to continue to refine and adjust to...
Suffice it to say, my life (like many others lives) is at another one of those points, change is coming, and my preparation however begrudgingly, however timidly, however (really) unknowingly has just begun...
Just like this here climb, can't focus on the length, just going to take it one step at a time.
3 comments:
hang in there man. you'll get to that ranger station on pantoll, eventually. you've got the skills...
ps - that climb on the ridge goes on FOREVER. I always think it's like 5 little bumps and it's at least 20 mini-crushers.
I have been doing the same type of thinking. With another child on its way and the world like it is, I have thoughts always racing through my mind. Things like where we have been and where we are going. I can make a change and better myself but there are always sacrifices in doing that. I simply laugh about what Lyn and I thought were difficult decisions when we first got married. Those issues now are not even on the same scale once children are involved. We have to accept and embrace life and world change. Being a thinker and the ability to learn new things will keep us all alive and strong in your life journeys.
Happy early birthday my good friend. I cannot wait to see you in NC over Christmas.
Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - Confucious
You'll get where you need to be.
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